I have to keep my attraction a secret. This makes me sad. I fear even my own mom and son hate me If they really knew me. To all whom feel like you face your day alone or gods not there for you.
So starting a business seemed like a great idea. What you say to someone who walks into the room after you've just been talking about them. I have been poor all my life. Often there is no real problem to solve -- it's a problem that happened in the past. Now, now I'm not saying certain drugs don't have their place in severe situations tinteyly help and indvidual calm down or get over the hump of a tough time.
I know the effects of suicide first hand it saddens me that you hurt and feel that you would not be missed because if you read this Well I can tell you that our paths have crossed and I would be saddened deeply by the lose of a beautiful life. I agree to the full there is just no season of peace in any sort of way….. I feel the same way you do. It is devastating to not only have no earthly father, but be abandoned by the heavenly one too!
Firing prayer bullets, listening to prayers on youtube, everything is for nothing and I am tired of having his back turned to me. I can relate to you in this one. Its to the point going to church causes physical pain because of the lies. I wish there was even one aspect of my life that I was thankful for. When bad things happen and you trust God, but He never follows through and turns it to good it leaves you broken in a way no human could possibly break you.
I can handle having the worst luck in the world. Knowing that God created me specifically to live this life is a cruelty beyond comprehension. Unfortunately even after this article I still believe that if God exist he hates me.
Too many bad things have happened to me for me to believe otherwise. Nellie, I understand why you would feel that way given all that you have been through. I hope that you will be able to find the resources you need to seek healing and wholeness in your journey. I wish you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Tell that to the dying from starvation kids of Ethiopia and war torn countries. God may hate us, or God may love us, but the answer is so what? And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
That is contradictory to the way I was raised, but I agree with you. At 52 I have nothing to look back on but emotional pain, desperation, depression, loneliness, stress… this list goes on. It actually makes me hope there is no god or gods but rather, just randomness. I do not wish to believe in a deity deities that would choose to bless some and not others.
And, I look forward to nonexistence. Hi ,I lived a life of hardship too. God loves us. To see from your perspective as well, but so much younger pains me.
Where am I? I feel so much more different than what I thought I was. I feel like this too. I am not concerned if there is an afterlife and hope that there isnt, because it will just be another level of learning and suffering. No more pain, just a loss of consciousness. The peace of sleep. As far as I see it, Gods are not worth chasing after. So praying to them to relieve pain and sickness is an utter waste of time. They have no concept of it. My pain and suffering have reached such extreme levels that they have shattered the illusion of a loving God. The ultimate vivisectionist, as C. Lewis put it.
You are wrong when you say that God does not know what it means to be human and have physical pain. He was God on earth in the flesh but his words to humanity are ignored or misunderstood. When you die you will be in far worse pain and torment than you can imagine if you do not believe and accept the price Jesus paid for you when He died on the cross.
It is for every humans suffering that Jesus came, died, and rose again. Yes God is in control of everything and allows pain and suffering but few ever take the time to be humble and simply ask him why. I actually have asked and he answered. Many just get angry and never take the time to find out who God really is and why things are the way they are in this world. One of the first things that God showed me when I started asking him why is that from the beginning he wanted a being he could fellowship with that was somewhat like Him.
He gave humans the ability to have choice which His other creatures he created dont have. Our choices and choices of those before us brought pain and suffering into the world.
We choose our way most times and just complain and blame God without ever even looking to Him for real help because we expect that help to come the way we think it should or we expect God to make our lives better in the way we think it should be made better. All the while God has given instructions to human kind to follow and because he knows our pain and suffering he sent His Son to open the door of communication with him that is closed when we choose to do things our own way and not His.
God did live in a human body in Jesus.
Jesushimself said he and father God were one together. To this day Jesus has the marks of his crucifixion on his body. He really did die and come back to life. Why would he do that? The human that he created you, me, all of us. If you never have please read the Bible specifically the book of John.
Jesus spoke in a lot of parables but he also spoke plainly about who he was why he came to earth and what he expects of people. Hell is eternity without God. It is judgement never meant for humans. We choose whether we go there or not. As evil as this world is God is still present with man and still an active part of his creation. He lets men make choices and does not control us like a puppet master. His presence is still in this world. There is still good working along side evil in this world because his presence is here but when his presence is removed evil takes complete control.
Hell is a place where his presence is known of but the good is completely gone forever. Hell is judgement for the rebellious Lucifer and all the demons that followed him.
The only way to go there is to choose the same rebellion….. Please read what Jesus said in the Bible. He explained everything. There are several of us who have done everything you have said. God has been very transparent with why He has tortured me the way He has.
The real irony is He is teaching me most about how selfish He is. Even your whole rant is all about what God wanted, at the expense of us humans. And although Jesus became human to atone for our sins, I struggle with his example. Nowhere did it talk about him calling out to God in pain for decades and God never answering.
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Jesus also had support, He had friends, He had family. But they were also there for him, how could Jesus every understand to know what its like to spend you whole life without that. And with a God who left them alone and rejected. Maybe God is using those trials to help you to love Him! Jesus said in the gospel of John that He came to seek and save the lost.